Whenever Im Alone With You Make Me Feel Like I Am Home Again
"Being lone never felt correct. Sometimes information technology felt adept, just it never felt right."
— Charles Bukowski
"This morning time I felt lost and lonely equally I was driving home afterwards a fell breakup with my boyfriend. I turned on the radio and the Michael Jackson song 'Y'all Are Non Lonely' was playing. A few seconds later, at the exact moment the chorus began, I passed a huge billboard sign with large black messages that read, 'Yous ARE Non ALONE!'"
That's the opening paragraph of an electronic mail I received today from a reader named Ella. It made me smile because I dear when life delivers seemingly coincidental, positive messages like that, right when we need them most.
All the same, the rest of Ella's email further described her ongoing struggle with feeling "lost and lonely" in life. Which got me thinking…
Why do people have to feel this way? What's the indicate of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them peckish connection, and looking for specific experiences and people to satisfy them, yet inadvertently isolating themselves in the process. Why? Was the planet put hither simply to nourish our loneliness?
The more I've experienced and explored my own feelings of uncertainty and loneliness, the more I've realized how necessary these feelings are. It's skilful for us to spend time exploring unknowns, alone. It gives united states of america an opportunity to detect who we actually are and what life is all about.
Here are some things to keep in mind when you feel lost and alone:
1. You are non alone in being alone.
So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you lot. We are all in this together. So no matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel most your own situation, know that in that location are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say, "I am all alone," it'due south but your worried mind trying to sell you a prevarication. There's ever someone who can relate to you lot. Possibly you tin't immediately talk to them, but they are out at that place, and that's all you demand to know right now.
2. Sometimes when yous're lonely, you lot need to be alone.
Sometimes you need to be solitary, non to be lonely, merely to enjoy a little complimentary fourth dimension just being yourself and finding your way. In other words, the moments you feel alone are the moments you may most need to be by yourself. This is 1 of life's cruelest ironies.
We demand solitude, because when we're lone we're detached from obligations, we don't need to put on a testify, and we tin hear our own thoughts and experience what our intuition is telling us. And the truth is, throughout your life there will be times when the globe gets existent quiet and the only matter left is the trounce of your own heart. And so you'd better larn the sound of it, otherwise you'll never understand what it'southward telling you lot. (Read Quiet: The Power of Introverts.)
three. You have to be a petty lost first to find what you're looking for.
Non until y'all are lost in this world tin can you lot begin to find your best path. Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want. The second footstep is leaving the life you don't want. Making a big life alter is pretty scary. Just you know what's even scarier? Regret.
I tin tell you from my ain life feel that I've establish love, lost it, establish it, lost it so I constitute information technology once once more. But each time what I establish was more incredible than the final. So remember that everyone suffers in life at some point. Everyone feels lost sometimes. The key is using your experiences to grow. When you apply what you lot're learning to your future choices and actions, y'all move forrard non backward. You become stronger and wiser. It's non like shooting fish in a barrel, only information technology's worth information technology in the end.
4. It'due south all about accepting the reality of what is.
You cannot detect peace by fugitive life. Life spins with unexpected changes; so instead of avoiding it, have every modify and experience as a challenge for growth. Either it will requite you what you want or it volition teach you what the adjacent step is. And remember, finding peace in life does non mean to be in a place where in that location is no noise, no challenges, and no hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things while remaining calm in your eye.
Honestly, life is as well short to spend at war with yourself. The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. Letting go of needless expectations is your first pace to happiness. Come from a mindset of peace and credence, and you can bargain with well-nigh anything and grow beyond it.
5. In every situation, YOU choose your mental attitude.
Be determined to exist positive. Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness is determined non past your circumstances, but past your attitude. A happy person is not a person who's always in a proficient state of affairs, but rather a person who e'er has a adept attitude in every situation. And then smile at those who often try to begrudge or hurt y'all; bear witness them what's missing in their life and what they can't take away from you lot. Doing so doesn't mean forgetting or giving in, it means yous choose happiness over hurt. (Read Buddha's Brain.)
half-dozen. Being lonely does not hateful you are alone, and being lonely does not hateful you are alone.
The problem is not always in being lone; information technology's existence lonely in the presence of others. 1 can be lonely in the midst of a crowd. Wouldn't you hold? Then keep this in listen and choose your relationships wisely. It's ever better to be alone than to exist in bad visitor. And when you lot do make up one's mind to come back for someone, do so because you lot're truly better off with this person. Don't practice it but for the sake not being alone.
7. Everyone you care about does NOT demand to back up your decisions.
Friends and family unit won't always support your goals, merely you must pursue them anyway. Follow your intuition. Following your intuition ways doing what feels right, even if it doesn't await or sound right to others. Only time will tell, but our human instincts are rarely wrong. Fifty-fifty if things don't turn out as you lot anticipated, at least y'all won't have to spend the rest of your life wondering what could take been. So don't worry about what everyone else thinks; just keep living and speaking your truth.
Ultimately, you know you're on the correct track in life when you become uninterested in looking dorsum, and eager to take the adjacent step, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
eight. Yous are not who you used to be, and that's OK.
Y'all've been injure; y'all've gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today. Over the years, so many things have happened – things that take changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays the same, but some people will still tell yous that you have changed. Respond to them past proverb, "Of class I've inverse. That's what life is all about. I'm even so the same human being, simply a picayune stronger now than I e'er was before."
9. The all-time y'all can do changes from day to day.
Always exercise your best. And realize that "your best" is going to change repeatedly. For instance, it will be different when you are healthy equally opposed to sick.
Under any circumstance, simply do your all-time in the nowadays moment and y'all will avoid self-judgment, cocky-abuse, and regret. And recollect that no matter what's happening, you lot tin efficiently fight the battles of just today. It'due south but when you add together the battles of those two bottomless eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated. It's necessary, therefore, to let yourself live just 1 twenty-four hour period at a fourth dimension – merely today – simply right here, right at present. And practice the all-time y'all tin can in it. (Affections and I discuss this in more than detail in the "Self_love" chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Exercise Differently.)
10. It all matters in the end – every stride, every regret, every smiling, and every struggle.
The seemingly useless happenings add upwardly to something. The minimum wage job y'all had in loftier school. The evenings y'all spent socializing with colleagues you never see anymore. The hours you lot spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate time to come plans that never came to be. All those lone nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sexual practice and religion and whether or non you're good enough just the way you lot are. All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you've ever had. All of this has made yous who you are today.
The floor is yours…
What helps you stay positive when you lot feel lost and solitary? What's something encouraging you endeavor to keep in mind when you're upward against lots of dubiety? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Little Zoker
Source: https://www.marcandangel.com/2014/03/19/10-things-to-remember-when-you-feel-lost-and-alone/
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